what a world

I will apologize now that the tone of this blog will not be light as I am trying to do in general.

Today I witnessed something that brought reality into my life.

I was taking my kids to school and needed to go in to the office, something I rarely do. I usually drop the kids off at the door and get home. As I walked into the school with Knighton and Jessica at my side, marveling that they still seemed to not be embarrassed by me, we saw a child stride up to another and all out hit him, yelling "I told you to wait for me! Why didn't you wait for me? You're supposed to wait for me!" I heard the other one say, "Don't hit me." and then some words I could no longer understand.

As we got closer the older child shoved, with all his strength, his little brother (I assume they are brothers) with the single minded purpose of getting him on the ground. He stood over the other one in a way that was obviously meant to intimidate. I wished I wasn't in that situation and was wondering what I should say and how much I should interfere, When Knighton spoke up and asked the kid, by name, "what are you doing"

I heard two answers. One from a girl that walked up with the big one and the response from the doer. The girl seemed to be stating the facts, "He pushed my brother because..." at this point she was drowned out by the answer from the boy, "he didn't wait for me and then he was dissing me."

As we walked in I asked Knighton to never ever treat his brother that way and he solemnly said, "never." We parted ways and I went into the office, another young boy was explaining the situation outside to the lady in the office and I needed to get home so I decided she had all the information needed. As I left I noticed the bully had left, probably not wanting to stick around after seeing an adult witnessed his assault.

My thoughts are troubled this morning by many things;

First, I come to the conclusion from the child's actions and words he has been in the younger ones roll at times in his life by either a mother or father figure or possibly a older sibling.

Second, My actions. I walked by not wanting to get involved. I am not sure what I could have done but I feel I should have done something.

Third, as I look back I watched the kid who told the office worker be told to sit on a chair like he had done something wrong, I hope it was so she could help me first and not because she was upset with the child. Again I wish I had said something.

I am also proud, as proud as a parent can get and still not a sin. (no fall here) My children fight with each other, who doesn't sometimes, but I know they respect each other also. What I saw this morning would not happen with my children. There would be angry words, maybe some hitting (I hope not but I am not naive) but the attempt to dominate the other one, no. they would walk (stomp) away first.

I am also reminded of the relationship I had with my brother and sisters. We had some really hard times, and some physical fights. I have 2 vivid memories of fights that got physical, one with Robert (me throwing a whisk at him...I missed) and one with Christina (her in a head lock and clawing her way out.) I think I started the physical part of the fight on both occasions, sorry to both of you for being a mean sister.

I am way off point, I am just trying to say through all that there was never the purpose of humiliation or the goal of domination. we were just frustrated and letting ti out the wrong way. What I saw and the way the kid at school talked, he felt that physical violence was not only ok, it was fully justifiable.

I worry about my kids daily and this happening in elementary school scares me even more. Knighton will be in Jr High in 2 years and if I don't end up with an ulcer ill be surprised

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Once again I am thankful for the love and respect my children show and I am happy my sisters and brother and I have love and respect for each other too.